Living with Confidence

"I've spent most of my life walking under that hovering cloud, jealousy, whose acid raindrops blurred my vision and burned holes in my heart. Once I learned to use the umbrella of confidence, the skies cleared up for me and the sunshine called joy became my faithful companion." ~Astrid Alauda

Living with Confidence 3-4-10

Jealousy
He walks with her and laughs at her jokes, playfully putting his arm around her waist. She’s beautiful, of course, without an ounce of fat on her body due to drill team. He used to look at me that way, and flash a smile that made my stomach go flip-flop like a dying fish, and the effect still hasn’t stopped after he treated me like dirt. But now I am absolutely nothing, invisible as he walks past me. My heart breaks all over again, and I feel like sinking into the floor and dying, but life must go on.

Raindrops
Plink, plink, plink. Raindrops land in a broken, blue bucket from the leaky roof, held together by haphazardly nailed two by fours. A child shivers beneath a tattered blanket, left alone while her brother is out in search of food. They didn’t know their fathers—Mamma had been raped both times she had conceived her children, and Mamma had died in a drive-by shooting outside the factory she had worked in. Thunder rattles the windows and the child begins to cry, wishing the monsters would go away, anxious for her brother to return.

Sunshine, Joy
The light from the water was often blinding, which was the reason behind so many car accidents along the boulevard. A young woman with long blonde hair pulled into two long braids runs on the sand, amazed by her first view of the power and immensity of the ocean. A breeze catches her new, big, floppy, yellow sun hat, and she grasps the edges, screaming as a cheeky seagull drags her sunglasses from her bag and across the sand, laughing as her friend feeds a fearless seagull out of her hand. Life is beautiful.