Broken 2-21-10 (Draft #1)

This peom talks about some of my...issues. If you don't feel like knowing what's wrong with me, don't read this. :/. And you don't need to go and tell everybody about it! Thanks. :)

Broken

He hurt me when I thought
he loved me; his constant
attention and energy made me feel
whole.

The sobs rose in my chest
as I peeled out of his driveway
and sped toward my house; sitting
in my Jeep parked in the garage
I bawled until I was dry,
then went inside.

Being greeted by my puppy
who wagging, curly tail
was like sunshine.

Crying on the bathroom floor, my brain
make my fingernails pick
and pick at the blemishes on my arms.
I'm unable to stop my fingers
from demolishing my skin; even when it
starts to hurt more
than I can bare.

Suffocating emptiness swallowed my soul.
"I'm falling to pieces without you. My
life is worthless."
I text him, ask if I can call.
My heart jumps into my throat
when I see his name calling on my cell.

Curled up in the brown chair in the front room,
I hide from the streetlight outside.
His deep voice calms my aching mind, and
for a moment I feel hope swell in my
breast. Things will go back to normal, my life
will no longer be in ruins. Twenty minutes
slip through my fingers like blood
from a nose bleed: warm, awkward.

We'd both had a very long day, I show
compassion, more than he'd ever shown me,
and I leave him in the embrace of his dreams.

My hope is shattered and rebuilt,
time and time again. My wise, caring friends beg me
"Stop trying. He's a jerk. He's not worth it."
But I can't stop. The feelings won't leave,
Even after I've been used, ignored
stabbed in the heart,
By the boy who was supposed
to love me.